The Banished Queen
by Newsgirl29
Summary: After a one night stand with N, J has too return to the UES a week before Lonely Boys and S wedding. What will happen who knows, but I'll be watching XOXXO. Gossip Girl
1. Chapter 1

"Shit," was all I say as looked down at the four different brands of pregnancy test all with two lines very clear. How did we get here Jenny, you are not the kind of girl to sleep around, in fact I could count the number of guys I had slept with on one hand. After I became the banished Queen of the UES; I gave up on relationships and focus on finding the woman I was. The girl, who was loved by her first love Nate, not because I wanted him back. I knew that was not ever going to happen but it was at this point I was happy with me and who I was. To find that woman, to find Jennifer T. Humphrey, I had to be alone. I did not date for three years, while I was in school learned my trade and who I wanted to be. I made new friends and kept a few old ones, back in NYC. I didn't think one of them would be Chuck or his wife Blair, but honestly I would not have my the job I love here in London if not for them, but what I was going to do now.

"How did this happen," I asked myself. I know how this happen about two months ago, when a jet lag/ mildly drunk Nathaniel Archibald, came to her door with a old letter in his hand. The one that I never got, the one I lost him over. I could not just let him drive off and he would go right back to the bottle, because I would always care about him and answering to the family back home was not something I wanted to even think about. I had to let him in, and since my flatmates Eric and his boyfriend James, would be back after they got back from James, nices crisenty tonight I could not let him take their bed. Nate had to stay with me.

"Jenny, I was scared and I should have given this before you left," Nate said as he gave me the old thick envelope made out of the very recognizable to anyone from the UES, Empire stationary that must have come from Chuck suite, it was faded and coffee stained, with a tiny rip on the conner next to the stamp. "I have compared every woman, since then to you."

I opened up the coffee stain note,

_Jenny,_

_I know have been an ass to you and you must think that what we have is just another fling. Please forgive me, you light up my life, you make me want to get up in the morning to be a better man, to be the man I want to be, not what my family wants me to be._

_ I want see where this goes, I know that keep saying that our ages difference matters, but in five to seven years it won't matter. _

_When we kiss that night at your fashion show, it meant the world to me, you mean the world to me._

_But I can't hide the way I really feel about you the emotions are to strong for me to pretend that they don't exist. I think about you all the time_

_Now that your brother knows about us. I have to stay away from you...but I don't want to. I really care about you. I don't know what to do._

_Nate_

"Nate, thank you for telling me that I was not completely off my rocker back in highschool, but why does it matter now, you moved on and I don't blame you I was a snotty brat and complete bitch to you and everyone I loved. I lost me, the woman you loved, I lost her and reverted back to a bitchy toddler." I said as looked into the baby blue eyes that if was wanting to be honest with myself still show up in my dreams every night.

"I compare every woman to you, you made want to be a better man to be my own man. You wanted me, not just the Archibald diamond and everything that comes with it." Nate said to me with the passion in his eyes that hurt me and made burn as a woman for the first time.

"Don't say that, don't say you care still, because you don't," I said to him; "Your drunk Nate, you don't know what you are saying." I know he was not that drunk, I had seen him seen most of my old friends passed out drunk before and he was almost sober, compared to his days with Chuck Bass spent drinking and partying their way through the NYC.

"Why, Jennifer? Why would matter if you still don't feel the same way, if you still don't love me." Nate said as he moved closer to me. I could smell the fifty year old scotch on him and mixed with his Creed Adventus, that always made weak in the knees and made feel things that at the time didn't understand, like I do now.

"Why now, why are you here?" I asked.

"I going start my political career and my grandfather is arranging my marriage, or at least trying too." He said as he brushed a fallen strand of hair from my face, he had that look in his eyes whenever he was going to kiss me. I knew this was a bad idea, I knew but whenever Nate looked at me like this I become putty in his hands. "I have only one woman, could ever see that way, she was not quite a woman, when she stole my heart and then I broke hers and turned her into the banished Queen."

"Nathaniel," I breathed as he kissed me, like he never had before. I knew I was going to end up naked in bed with him that night. So at almost twenty four, joined Nathaniel F. Archibald little black book, and now I have four positive pregnancy test before me proving to me that it really did happen.

"Shit!" I said loudly as I took a picture of the test on my cell of the test, which brought in Eric to the door and peeked in to the bathroom.

"Is everything okay," Eric asked and saw the four sticks on sink with each clearly two marks on each, "Shit!"

"Yeah, shit is right." I answered.

"Nate, has some strong little swimmers," Eric said with a smirk. I had laugh at that because didn't know what else to do, the Banished Queen was pregnant with the white knights baby.

"Do know what you want, do yet?"

"I just confirmed that I pregnant, I don't know?" I answered.

"You have always wanted kids, and you know it?" Eric said.

"I know, but Nate is going to be running for mayor of New York City and he doesn't need a bastard kid popping up." I said. "I just thought it was not possible for me to get pregnant and here I am with child, which is the news that help send me down a crazy spire in NYC."

"Talk to him before the wedding, which we leave for really late tonight and will get there in the morning," Eric subgested.

"I know you're right," I answered as went my room with my four test. I hope he not working right now. I sit down in from of my packed bags and computer. I pull up the skype line that I swore I never use, because he always brought out the best when were together and the crazy bitch when I wasn't, but if I was needing saving he was my white knight. I don't know if he will answer or if I call and I had to see his face to do this. I click the video chat line and he soon pops up on the screen with his amazing blue eyes and heart melting smile.

"Hey Jenny, this a welcome surprize," Nate greets me, I can see he at his office, and in a well fitting suit, something I didn't see him in high school a lot, and his late lunch in front of him.

"Hey Nate, how's New York," I greet him awkwardly.

"Good"

"And the Spectator?"

"Deadline, and crazy, but that's normal here."

"Your family?"

"Jenny something wrong, you have been my girlfriend and one of my best friends. I know when something is wrong. So what wrong?" Nate asked. "I haven't heard from you since we met up in while I was in London."

"Yeah about that night?"

"I know I should have not dumped that whole, thing on you- but it's true. I have compared every woman, I have been with to you even Serena. I didn't know it at the time, but she didn't make me feel at peace to be me." Nate said.

"That's not why I am calling." I said as I played with one of the test out of view of the web camera.

"Then what?" Nate asked as he took a sip from his water bottle.

"Because of this," I answer as I held up the test, for him to see.

"Is that yours?" Nate asked, I could tell he was flabbergasted at the sight of the white and pink test with two lines.

"Yeah, and one of four, that all say the same thing your going to be a dad Nate," I told him.

"I thought you couldn't get…" Nate stated, thing that I learned when I thought he would have been my first, I went to my first OBGYN appointment and learned that I was not ovulating regularly and I would struggle to have kids someday. That was one of reason my downfall happened. "How did it happen… Wait don't, I remember the how it happen. I came with a drunken confession."

"Me too, I don't know if I am happy about it or not, but I can't have an abortion, because this may never happen again," I said as tears came out now. "Are you mad?"

"Jenny," Nate answered. "I am too shocked to be mad at you or our child. Wow that a word I thought would never say. Have you seen an OBGYN yet?"

"No," I answered as grabbed tissue dry my face. "I just took the test this afternoon, because I thought it was not possible."

"I can get you an appointment tomorrow if you want be or later before or after the wedding? " Nate offered, the every practical.

"Thank you, sooner the better I will be in town tomorrow morning?" I told him.

"I know, I can pick you up from the airport go right after that we can see the doctor," Nate offered.

"Thank you, lets just do it and go from their." I answered. "I know we have so much to talk over, but the cab is going to be here soon, see you soon."

"Alright I'll let you go, and see you soon." Nate answered.

"Okay bye," I said hung up, the line.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Our plane landed at 7:30 at LaGuardia Airport in the city, I have not been in over five years. I hardly could sleep because some couple was so happy they kept making out, which led to them joining the mile high club and an old lady had a really strong perfume that was making me nauseous. I did finally sleep about three in the morning. James and Eric made sure I changed into UES approved outfit white flowy pants with thin red belt, black crop top, sunglasses and my now signature red lipstick; after we got out of customs and James got his passport stamped.

"Jenny are you going to be okay seeing Nate, again?" Eric asked as we all step on to NYC concrete and saw Nate- who stood outside his town car, he looked like the Upper East Prince he was in a charcoal fitted suit with pale blue shirt, navy tie and sunglasses. I was weak in my knees at the sight of him.

"He looks like a prince, I don't know if this right thing. I could rear this kid on my own, I am a grown ass woman and a badass boss bitch. I don't need a man for anything!" I said to the my two best friends.

"That is all true, but that is also the same man, who has been your penpal for the last five years! Who you fucked and kept me up with for a whole night." James said as he down a cup of tea.

"Yeah, that is a night we all will not forget," Eric answered. "Even if we want too!"

"Okay boys I get it," I said as Nate saw us. "I am a badass boss bitch, and I can handle Nate Archibald." Nate came over with his natural athletica grace.

"Good, now go make sure my future godchild is doing well," Eric said as he gently pushed me towards Nate.

"Nate," I greeted as he opened his arms and we had an awkward hug.

"Jenny, how was your flight," Nate asked as he took my suitcase. "Eric, hey man it's been a long time." Nate shook his hand.

"Yeah, it's been almost three months Nate, since I saw you naked in my living room and finally understood what my ex step-sister and sister were fighting over so long ago." Eric answered with a hand shake.

"Still not sorry about that," James greeted with a smirk, at the memory of him taking all of the towels of our bathroom, forcing a very wet and naked Nate walk back to my room.

"I block that memory out," Nate answered. "Jenny, we have to get going, the appointment is at 9:30."

"I don't," I laughed, as a I saw a man with a camera down the way, I put my sunglasses on and put my handbag in front of my face. Eric spotted the paparazzi too and waved us on to Nate car. "We need to go Nate," I told him as I put my hand in front of my face, to block the picture.

"Good idea, I'll see you two at Rufus tonight for a family dinner and game night," Nate asked as he handed my suitcase off to his chauffeur.

"Wouldn't miss Rufus cooking and watching the battle of scrabble again," Eric answered as he gave their bags to a cab driver.

I got into the town car, and Nate soon joined me smelling as good as every. I don't know what to say, to a man I never thought I had a chance with after I lost my virginity to his best friend, and destroyed his relationship with my soon to be sister in-law. I broke his heart that day, he told me in his letters. I know we are in a much better place now, but I don't know if we can move forward, for our child and us.

_ Jenny, May 2012_

_You put our whole relationship on GG, did I mean anything to you or was I just the Upper East Side Prince, a prize to be won. When I found out, what you did with Chuck my best friend; on top of what you did to me and Serena. You broke my heart, I didn't know why at the time. You were one of best friends, honestly more than, Blair or Serena were; you were my breath of fresh air. I was in love with you really honestly in love with you or what you did would not have hurt near as much._

_We both had move on, and we have, but I had to get that off my chest. I know that it's not the women you are now, but how could you do that to us._

_ Nate,_

_ Nate, June 2012_

_You will never know how sorry I am for everything. When you said that our ages matter; I was too young for you and the type of relationship you wanted; you were right - You are always right. I never hated you, I hated myself and I wanted you to hate me more. The greatest way to do that was to get under your best friend. _

_I wanted to be gone, because again you were right, I am not like one of those girls. I wanted to be a designer of my own line, and to learn my craft. I am at Central Saint Martins, learning and loving it. I am on a man band, I am not dating anyone. I want learn, who I am without a man._

_ Jenny_

_ P.S. _

_You, were my first love and honestly my only at the moment._

We sat there as we were drove through the city silents."So I might as well shoot the elephant in the room, what do you think we should do?" I asked Nate, after I put the privacy panel up.

"My family thinks I should pay you off and have you lie saying it's not mine, but can't do that to my kid." Nate answered as he looked at me with his big blue eyes.

"And what do you think we should do?"

"This," Nate said as he pulled out the ring that Blair had coveted when I first became her minion my freshmen year, the Archibald Vanderbilt diamond ring, almost three carats of stones around a center stone that is two carats it was amazing. "Marry me?"

"Nate, I'm going to have think about it, for heaven sake we haven't ever really dated," I answered him and start to cry. "Nate this not how it should happen a marriage of convenience is not what I dreamed of, when I used dreamed you asking that question, or anyone for that matter."

"Hey, hey Jenny that's not what it would be for me, I meant every word I said that night. I have grown to love you through your letters, and I had to give you the first one I ever wrote you; because I love you." Nate said as he took my hand and put the ring on my finger, he then pulled me into a hug.

"Let me think about for a little bit, please," I asked as I fell into his warm embrace. "Before I say yes can we go on a real date please, Nate we have never been real date, we made out on street corners. "

"I am taking the about half the week off, mostly to help with wedding and best man duties," Nate said as he brushed my hair back. "I am free tomorrow, how about we go on a real date, and only make out on street corners if you want too. No more hiding from our families or any one, and wear the ring if you want; If to it is much you can give it back."

Nate had the white knight look in his eyes, that he always had since we were in high school. I knew it was a bad idea, but I just had to kiss him. He pulled me on top of his lap, knew what he wanted I can feel it and it's not like he could get me pregnant again. Nate deepen the kiss, his hands find my bare skin of my mid back.

"Do want a traditional welcome to Upper East Side or we can stop now," Nate asked, as he kissed my neck.

"Yes," I answered as I loosened his tie, pulled him closer and rubbed my pelves on his. Nate pulled of my shirt and clothes soon were flying everywhere. Soon we were one and I was riding him hard, like I never have with any other man. It didn't take long and we both came and where breathing hard. "That was a great welcome back greeting!"

"I am glad, you enjoyed it ,I know I did," Nate answered, answered as kissed me. "No pressure Jenny, we don't have to get married, but I would love to have you as my wife, just know it not out of convences for me."

"It's just a lot for me to think about, I will give you answer by the end wedding celebrations, because this week is about my brother Dan,one of your best friends and Serena, one of our best friends and their day," I answer him, as I help straighten his tie and I got off him.

"Your right it's their time, so take your time, I will be here," Nate insured me, what did I do to deserve this man. I feel like this cinderella is dreaming because my prince didn't find my glass slipper it was his witch of a girlfriend at the time, and the one time I had a real chance with him I lost him. Timing has never been our strong suit, maybe this time- the fates that had always pulled us apart will let us work. I finished straightening my clothing and finding my shoes.

"We are here Mr. Archibald," the driver said over the intercom.

"Thank you Marks," Nate answered as we came to a stop and opened the door for me and ever the gentlemen helped me out of the car. "Are you ready?"

"As I'll ever be, but is anyone ever for this." I answered, as we walk into doctor office, before it even opened. An hour later I had blood drawn, answered more question about mine and Nate's sex life than I did when Dan was Gossip Girl. Dr. Gramson came back to the room.

"Hello Ms. Humphrey and Mr. Archibald, well things look good from what we can tell you are very much expecting a child, we are going to do an ultrasound to see your child and then use a fetal doppler and listen to your child heart beat," Dr. G said as she pulled out a tube a blue gel and pushed up my dressing gown. The gel was cold, squishy, but in a soon there were a black and white image on the screen the doctor moved the cold piece of plastic across my adamon, she didn't say anything for about ten minutes, it scared me.

"Is everything alright," I asked, as I tightly held Nate's hand.

"Yes, it is very good all three babies look great," Dr. G answered, with a big smile on her face, it was the look of utter shock on Nate face, was one I have never seen. "Congratulation your having triplets, Ms. Humphrey."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Triplets!" I said as I looked a screen and three jelly bean looking babies. "Nate we are having triplets!" I am so shocked as is Nate who is just staring at the screen, with his mouth open.

"Triplets," Nate stated as he stares at screen.

"Yes, triplets and you are about eleven and half weeks pregnant." Dr. Gramsons said, as she wiped off the gel. "And you should be due in the late october or early november . I will give you prenatal vitamins, and will get your blood work back in about four days and we can make more plans from there. I will give you two a moment." The doctor leaves us alone.

"Nate, you can pick you jaw off the floor," I said to him as I turned his face to look at me, a little scared that he going to bail on me.

"I was just putting mind a round one kid, now it's three," Nate answered, as he took my hand. "I am in shock, my proposal has not changed."

"I know Nate, you are my knight in shining armor with lacrosse stick. You will always be there for me." I told him as I looked into those amazing blue eyes and pulled him in for a kiss.

"Your knight in shining armor," Nate said with that amazing smile.

"Yes, you ever since the night of the masquerade," I agreed with him. "We can do this, Nate."

"I know, and we will Jenny," Nate agreed, as my cell went off, with the wicked witch theme music playing. "Blair,"

"I know bad, but it was just too easy!" I laughed, before I answered. "Bonjour," I greeted Blair on the other end. "Okay, I am coming."

"The world of fashion is falling down without Blair's head designer," Nate asked, he held onto my hands. "Do you want a ride to the atelier."

"It would seem that way and if you could that would be wonderful," I answered, and for the first time in twenty four I feel at peace."I think we should tell, everyone tonight."

"I want keep it between us, but I will not hide you. I did that once, and it screwed up the everything. So let's tell the family tonight at dinner." Nate agreed as he helped me sitting up.

"Agreed," I said when the Dr. Gramson came back with my prenatal vitamins and we made an appointment to come back later in the week, we walked out to the car. I don't know we will do, but I did have an SOS from Blair I had to get work. "I want to explain, why I will not be drinking and why I have to drop my twelve shots a day espresso habit, has to be cut down to a two shot a day habit."

"I can see where that would be useful," Nate said as he looked at the ultrasound picture.

"Hey, we can do this no matter what we choose to do, Nate." I said to him.

"Yeah, I know but we both know what is was like to not have both parents and I can't do that to them," Nate answered.

"You will be a great Dad, to our three little jelly beans," I answer him as I take his hand and look at the picture at the three little jelly beans. "Do you want to start thinking of names?"

"Well first do think they are boys or girls or both," Nate asked, as he held on to my hand.

"Well if it's boys then we have only three penises to worried about and if it girls then it's all the other penises we have to worry about," I answered,as I looked at first pictures of my children. I feel like I am in a dream, Nate says he loves me and asked me to marry me, a day I never thought happen.

"Wow, now I understand a little how your dad felt when we were dating-ish," Nate answered with the word we made up in our letters. "I know it's been less than twenty four hours, but all of the lost weekends and shit Chuck and I got up to. The thought of us dating and some ones daughters. Someday that could be us, with daughters or worse with boys who could be just as bad or worse." Nate finished, and his thoughts brought me back to when we first started writing and how angry I was at him.

July 2012

Seventeen Nate! You said I was too young, Sage is three year younger than me. She was twelve when we dated! I know we are done, but why? I should not be mad at you, but I want to know why?

Jenny

P.S

I am over you!

Jenny, July 2012

I don't blame you for being confused and angry at me for being a hypocrite. In my defence she lied to me about her age, she claimed to be in college, when we met. I was a fool and can see that now, Sage and I are done, she saw your letter to me and didn't understand that I have always had a soft spot for you, I don't know why, but it the truth.

I need a break from dating and focus on getting my paper up and running. I haven't been single since kindergarten and I need to find me.

Nate

P.S

I am so sorry, I hurt you again; you are a much better woman than Sage; Jenny, you made me want to be a better person.

Nate, August 2012

I will always, have a soft spot for you too. My coworker James, has been reading this Vedic writings by Kumar, and gave me a great quote:

"One can never ever forget the one who they loved in their past and that to their First Love! 'Whenever and whomever it was, your experience with your first love is etched into your memory forever.."

Nate, you were my first love and you are forever etched into my memory. I am not wanting anything more than friendship with you, We are both of us; past us doing the date-ish thing. It was but for a moment the news of you with a girl, who is three years younger than me. It brought up old emotions and hurt, I just had to scream at you one more time. I am sorry Nate you are one of my best friends, I have ever had. I don't want to think of a world where we can not talk or write to each other.

Jenny

Jenny August 2012

I agree, I don't want see a world where you are not one of my best friend. I like that quote, you are honestly first time I felt such a strong emotions for anyone, you will forever be someone I love.

I want keep up this form of correspondence. I feel like we back on your dad's living room couch eating waffles, a safe place where would could and did talk about everything under sun and did every other night. I could always talk to you more than anyone about anything, I have missed that with radio silents we have had the last few years.

Nate,

P.S.

I like the term "Date-ish"

"You do now," I asked, looking at this man, who was such impossible dream so long ago.

"Okay well more empethis more now, because if there are any girls among the jelly beans. If they ever date anyone like me in high school. I will personally hang that boy," Nate answered.

"Wow, you really are such dad already Nate," I was honestly surprised. "You really want this?"

"Jenny, this not the order I wanted this to happen, but if you say yes or if you don't I am not going to make you do this alone." Nate assured me, and pulled me in for a kiss, which kept us busy till we made to my new york atelier.

We soon end up in front of Waldorf Designs, New York atelier. " Are you staying at The Empire?"

"Yes, if you could have my things sent their. I would forever be grateful," I answered as I quickly got out and headed in wanting finish this so I can go get some sleep. I was halfway through the storefront when I was grabbed by Blair.

"Talk Now," Blair hissed.

"Talk about what?" I asked looking into the crazy eyes of my boss, who years ago was my enemy and then with a flip of the coin, she became a closest girl friend.

"That was Nate car and you have post limo intercourse hair," Blair stated as grabbed my hand. "And this is the ring I idolized for three fourths of my life! So Talk!"

"Yes, that was Nate car, and yes we just made out on the way, and yes he did ask me to marry him this morning and everything else will be explained tonight at dinner." I answered in a whisper, as I lead my nosy boss to the back rooms.

"Nate asked you to marry him finally and you said yes, " Blair blurted out, I just looked at her." I will leave it alone till tonight and if I don't get answers out of you I will go to Nate and we all know he can't lie."

"I have not give him answer yet, and we will tell you tonight. So what is the emergency that could not wait till had a chance to get breakfast and a nap first." I asked her.

"Serena dress needs to be let out a bit and she would not trust anyone else but you, to do it," Blair said as we headed to the fitting rooms to find Lily and Serena, waiting on us. Serena stood on the platform with mirrors around her, with a custom design by J. I could tell from here that the dress was a little sung, which any of my seamstress team could fix easily, but know Serena she needs people she trust around her and right now that is me.

"Serena, Lily it is so good to see you both," I greeted my ex step mother and soon to be sister in-law.

"Jenny, you are home finally your father will be so happy," Lily greet me with a motherly hug, that even in my darkest days I did always love. "That is quite a stunning ring you have their." Lily commented, with a twinkle in her eyes.

"Jenny, your only one I trust with my dress," Serena said as turned around on the platform.

"No, worries Serena we have this dress fitting like a glove in no time," I told her, I am so grateful that Serena and I had put our past behind us. When Dan outed himself as gossip girl, Serena and I finally talked about why we had so many problems and Nate came to be a core issue. Serena was sorry about what happened between us we knew, that she and Dan were an end game situation. We have managed to mend the fences, since then.

"Thank you so much, and that ring did Nate give it to you," Serena asked, with the same twinkle her mother had.

"I will tell the same thing I told Blair, Nate and I will explain everything tonight at dinner, Jenny was happy to be home.

Authors Note: I started The Return of the Banished Queen, on a burst of creative writing and then realized that it was not going to work if I did not dig deeper into the relationship of Nate and Jenny, so I am going to write a series of vignettes starting when Jenny leaves the Upper East Side for Hudson, and introduce a few OC, but more get into both of their heads and why Nate can jump right into a proposal after a one night stand, so if you like this story and want some more emotion go read Banished.


	4. Chapter 4

At eleven in the morning I finally made it to my room at The Empire and was ready to drop for a nap and then some lunch not necessarily in that order. I never have been showered with gifts, by any guy,until to today. Nate had sent not just my luggage, but the same box chocolates he got me after the masquerade and had to give Blair, two dozen of my favorite black magic roses, one dozen orange roses, thirteen black and coral roses, twenty-one purple roses and a letter.

_My Dearest Jenny,_

_As I was leaving your atelier and spoted Blair; I remember that I have never given you chocolates, or flowers, or much of anything and I have never wooed you. Jenny you deserve to be wooed, you have just always fallen into my arms without me having to work for it. I have never given you a reason to only let you, so I will give you a reason too._

_Each of these flowers has a meaning (blame Blair she made sure that Chuck and I knew the language of the flowers, when we were twelve and I have never forgot it). The burgundy roses mean a very deep passion and an unconscious beauty, which I have felt for you since that night, I told you "because," I have always had a stronger passion for you than anyone I have met before or since. Jenny you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, you have been taking my breath away since the moment I met you and still do every time I see you. The number twenty four is a reminder that I think of you all the time and I also remember that they are your favorite, are "Black Magic"._

_The orange roses are called "Heart of Gold Roses," and you have a heart of gold, you always wanted what was best for me, even if you went about it the wrong way. Their meaning is fascination, passion, enthusiasm, attraction and desire; the number twelve is ask you to be mine. You are the only women, have ever felt these feeling for or honestly wanted to be with in this way. Blair was what my parents wanted, Serena was a dream, a fantasy, a replacement for you. All the others, were me trying to fool myself that I didn't want you, or that you were not the girl I loved any more. I know now I was the fool for you and I will get down both knees, beg you to be mine, put a ring on every finger so the world will know, how much of a fool I was for letting you go all those years ago._

_The cora' and black roses, meaning of the coral are of my deepest desire for you and black roses meaning of death and rebirth, and yes that might not be the best thing to remind you of with our history, but hang in here with me. The day of my nineteenth birthday, when you took me out and killed me in the assassins game, with a kiss and Jenny it took every fiber of my will power and self control to not kiss you back. Jenny that night you tasted of sweetness, wildness and you were seeping with desire for me and so damn, fucking ,addictive. It took all of my being to let you walk out of that storage room, without me ravaging you and making you mine in every way possible. Thirteen means the from a secret admirer and a forever friendship, I will no longer admire you from afar or in secret and know this you will forever be one if not the closest friend I have ever had and whatever you chose._

_The twenty one purple roses, the darker purple are "Blue for you" ,"Midnight Blue" and mean enchantment, you have enchanted me from our first kiss, that night I knew you were not Serena by the way you kissed and the way you tasted, Jenny; you have always tasted of sweetness I knew you had eaten the mexican milk chocolate, espresso bonbons -which Serena hates, and of a free spirit, which still tasted like you have destroyed me for all other women. I knew it was you the night of the Saint and Sinner party as well had you not walked away I would have taken you right there. The lighter purple roses are "Silver Shadow," and their meaning love at first sight, and I have loved you from that first day I saw you, I didn't know it at the time, but you took my breath away and those emotions, those strong emotions was love at first sight._

_Jenny you are the one, and I am yours, I am with you always, no matter what you chose to do._

_Always Your Nate,_

_P.S._

_Are you wooed yet?_

Was I ever wooed, everything he said he had me in tears of joy.

"Yes, I am wooed Nate, thank you for the roses and chocolates," I texted him.

"You are welcome, can I pick you up later tonight for the family dinner," Nate texted back.

"I would love that," I answered.

"Alright pick you up at six," Nate answered quickly.

"Six it is," I texted and quickly fell on my bed and took a nap, I currently blaming the jelly beans and jet flipping of switch I was out until about two in the afternoon.

When I woke up, grab a cranberry lime kale juice and an energy bit, I had to get out and run. If you would have told when I left Constince eight years ago, that the next year I would lettering in cross country running at Hudson High School. I would not have believed you, but I started because go figure Nate like it, but as twisted stage of events Alex younger Sister Rachel Bancroft was the coach at the high school and lived down the road form us and started training me in the summer and made the team the next year. I have never given up the sport, because I could lose myself as the wind comes in my face and freedom. It was through this I started to find the old Jenny from the block. I knew if didn't push myself this today I would fine as would be my three little jelly beans, so before left I put my key and cell phone in my own pocket of my leggings and a little to small soft blue sports bra since my boobs are getting bigger, and I took off this big rock on my bed stand. I had to run, just to think. Nate was everything I dreamed of in high school and honestly the one biggest reason I could not move on, there are three hundred and sixty seven letters from almost five years, we have been having an emotional affair and a physical one too every few years. I was soon in Central Park doing a few stretches and off running. I ran through my six mile loop around the park, and stopped to drink from my water bottle, when I saw that body that gave me wet dreams in high school, who is now an chief editor and CEO; who also put a ring on my finger this morning and like myself he was caught up in his own world, then he saw me.

"Jenny, what are you doing," Nate asked more surprised.

"Running," I answered with a smirk, as took a sip of water.

"I can see that, but why?" Nate asked.

"To think," I answered.

"Why," Nate asked with a laugh.

"Well this guy from high school, who gave me more wet dreams than I know what to with, knocked me up and then proposed this morning, I had to think." I answered him with a smile.

"That would be a good reason to need to think," Nate answered, with a slight blush came to his ears, "I know you have told me you started cross country your senior year, but to see you doing it is a bit of shock."

"I did start the summer after I left New York, I just wanted to get out of the house and then I met my core group of friends, who all happen to be on the team and dragged me into and my step Aunt Rachel Bancroft, who trained me and I made the team senior year. I have never given it up, shocked a little?" I answered.

"Yeah a bit, happily so," Nate answered. "Wow a Queen of Constance, letter in cross country I know you have told me but wow!"

"We went to state, that year and I rank fourth in the state that year in the 5,000 meter," I told him proudly.

"Wow, that amazing I knew that, but wow!" Nate as motioned for me to walk with him. "Forgive me for being a caveman, here but it safe for the jelly beans for you to be doing cardio?"

"According to google it should be?" I told him sweetly as I walked next to him.

"Google is not a reliable source Jenny, please for our jelly beans safety and possibly my sanity, I can't see lose them Jen or you," Nate asked.

"I am not use being in a relationship, but I just thought about thinking and I do care about the Jelly beans, Nate and you know that," I answered, as he took my hand and saw that the ring was gone.

"Have you made your decision already," He asked in a whisper, I saw fear and hurt in his eyes.

"No, Nate I have not, there are two main reason I did not want wear it now. One it a little big and I did not want to lose it and two I did not want have my picture taken with it on my finger, because everyone knows that ring and I want to keep this between us," I answered as we kept walking.

"That makes since," Nate said as we walked. "If this going to work, I will have be completely honest with you?"

"What is it, Nate?" I asked as I took him in, he was not wearing a shirt, looked amazing and smelled like a Nate.

"I was honestly terrified that you made your choice and it was not me," Nate said as we came up to food cart and Nate got a bottle of water.

"I would not do that to you Nate," I tell him as he finish is water quickly.

"I know Jenny," Nate agrees as we come to another path.

"I will tell you and right now I am leading on an answer that will make us both very happy," I told him and gave his hand a tight squeeze and I looked down I could not tell, which fingers were mine and which were Nates. "Race to the end," I tell him and run off down the path with Nate quickly coming on behind me.

"Cheater!" Nate yells at me and comes after me, we made to a grove of trees and Nate caught me up in his arms, and we were breathing hard. I loved his eyes at moments like these so alive, bright and dark blue. Soon his lips were on mine and we were kissing. I wanted him again, I have never wanted anyone like this before, I tend to be a one and done kind of girl, but when comes to Nate I have never been able to give him up.

"I want you again," I breathed.

"We are in public," Nate said, as he leaned his forehead on my.

"I don't care,"I tell him, as I brush my hand on his erection that was forming. "Want this now."

"Jenny why is that I can never tell you no," Nate answers as he pulls me deeper into the trees.

"I promise not to take to much advantage of that," I tell him, until make to a point we are hidden from sight, and then I was turned around and my hands were held above my head as his other hand pulled my leggings down, to my knees. I was wetter than I have ever been as I felt his hard erection pushing into my ass. "Are you going to take me from behind?"

"You want me now, than you will have me this way," Nate breathed, in our friends with benefits relationship, have seen many sides of my lover, but this was new and I loved it.

"I will take you anyway," I breathed as he spread my legs, and quickly penetrated me. It didn't take long, for us to both orgasm. I was one of the most satisfied women to ever life.

"Jenny, you are going to be the end of me," Nate smiled as he put himself in order.

"Is that a bad thing?" I asked as pulled my now very wet leggings, up.

"No, the idea of any other woman is not even something I can think about now or have for the last four years it just been you," Nate answered. "You are the only one, who has ever really mattered."

"Nate," was all I could say, because no one has ever said anything like that before to me.

"Jenny it's just you and has always been just you everyone else was sad man even sadder failed replacement," Nate said as he kissed my forehead gently. "Let's get you back to the empire, before Eric thinks I kidnapped you again."

"Okay," I answered at a lost for words, because no one had ever said anything so sweet. That was not the boy I knew in high school, who could tell you what was wrong grammatically with your sentence, but not how make flow better.


End file.
